I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I'd cum for enchiladas.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
