VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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