I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
