lets start a swedish sibling band together
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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