So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
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