Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
We need to get me chipped asap
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
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