why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
