Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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