U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
