Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
