she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
