We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Randomize
