I'm drive I can fine osifer
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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