Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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