I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
he fucked my hip out of place.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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