I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
