bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
wrigley field is MILF paradise
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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