Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Randomize
