People in love make me want to vomit
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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