i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
