carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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