I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
