He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
