I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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