gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
