I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Is it because I queefed?
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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