I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
