so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
