just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
