He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
