I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize