Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Randomize