After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
