I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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