Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
