mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
