And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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