Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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