Are we in a gay sports bar?
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
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