I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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