I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
