I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Randomize
