lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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