he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
