just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
