who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
