i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
