If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
FUCK WHALES
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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