question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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