I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
