Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Randomize