so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
