Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
