Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize