I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
