Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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