We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Randomize
