Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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