Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Randomize
