I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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