Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Randomize
