Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Randomize
