Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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