3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
