his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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