it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
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