I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
